The journey of a convert
Assalaamoe aleikoem wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh my lovely readerssss,
I should be studying right now, but I've decided to write my blog first because I have so much to say and it is now distracting me from my work. So I decided to write down my story first.
I often start by saying that I've been a muslim for almost 6 years now alhamdoellilaah.
The funny thing is, people always ask me about my journey to islam. And you're sitting behind your computer or laptop or tablet or Iphone or whatever technology you have and you're probably thinking, isn't that a normal question? And my answer is, sure ! It's normal to ask a converted muslim who usualy has a different apearence than most muslim girls how she became muslim. But what's funny to me, or well.. maybe it's kind of sad. People always seem to think that your journey ends the day you say your shahada..
And the truth is, the moment you become muslim is where the journey begins.
Cause even when you feel with every fiber in your body, every piece, that Islam is the deen for you. You have to find your way within this religion. You have to learn so much..
I remember being overwhelmed with the arabic, all the things that where normal to me before and all of a sudden became haram (eating 'normal' meat, pictures, music, jeans and all those kind of things) and offcourse praying 5 times a day, fasting during ramadhaan and I can go on and on. Don't get me wrong, I knew exactly what I signed up for, and I wanted all of islam. But with all the negative reactions, the new lifestyle, the do's and dont's it is not that easy. And if you ask me for my story.. shahada woult be the beginning and my life after shahada, that would be my journey. And it tells you even more about me than how I got to this point where I wanted to convert. Alhamdoellillaah.
You see, we lead people to islam. We help sisters who ask us to learn them how to pray, to hold their hands while they say their shahada. But we're not there when her entire family is against her. We're not there when she's called names. We're not there when she cries herself to sleep. We're not there when the world that seemed certain to her, become one big pile of 'haram'. We're not there when her old life begs her to come back. We're not there when her mom or dad pulls of her hijab or spits in her face. We're not there when she loses everything that was familiar to her. And yet, we judge. Soubhana Allah. The real journey began when she said her shahada. And when you walk beside her, hearing the real story.. you look at her and say:"Soubhana Allah.. I don't know how you're still standing. How you held on to the deen". And her respond will be: "Alhamdoellilaah, all praise to Allah".
Cause she endured all that, waiting for that day that she will be accepte.. Waiting for the day that she can live the life she dreams of. Having a family where she can fast with during ramadhaan. Having a husband who wakes up with her to pray salaat-ul fajr. Having her own house, with a fridge filled with halal products. Hearig the call to prayer in her own home. All those things that, our sisters who where born in muslim families often take for granted. Soubhana Allah.
Look, I wouldn't wanna be anybody else. I have this amazing family. And it doesn't matter that they are not muslims. They are mine <3 and they where a gift from Allah Azza wa Djall. And Allah Azza wa Djall brought them into my life to test me.. and after all that, all the fights and tears.. I can honestly say, alhamdoellilaah.. We found our way back to eachother. They accept me, like I accept them. And I love them, even more than I did before. Cause even after everything, my mom is still my hero. And paradise still lies underneath her feet. Alhamdoellilaah<3
I should be studying right now, but I've decided to write my blog first because I have so much to say and it is now distracting me from my work. So I decided to write down my story first.
I often start by saying that I've been a muslim for almost 6 years now alhamdoellilaah.
The funny thing is, people always ask me about my journey to islam. And you're sitting behind your computer or laptop or tablet or Iphone or whatever technology you have and you're probably thinking, isn't that a normal question? And my answer is, sure ! It's normal to ask a converted muslim who usualy has a different apearence than most muslim girls how she became muslim. But what's funny to me, or well.. maybe it's kind of sad. People always seem to think that your journey ends the day you say your shahada..
And the truth is, the moment you become muslim is where the journey begins.
Cause even when you feel with every fiber in your body, every piece, that Islam is the deen for you. You have to find your way within this religion. You have to learn so much..
I remember being overwhelmed with the arabic, all the things that where normal to me before and all of a sudden became haram (eating 'normal' meat, pictures, music, jeans and all those kind of things) and offcourse praying 5 times a day, fasting during ramadhaan and I can go on and on. Don't get me wrong, I knew exactly what I signed up for, and I wanted all of islam. But with all the negative reactions, the new lifestyle, the do's and dont's it is not that easy. And if you ask me for my story.. shahada woult be the beginning and my life after shahada, that would be my journey. And it tells you even more about me than how I got to this point where I wanted to convert. Alhamdoellillaah.
You see, we lead people to islam. We help sisters who ask us to learn them how to pray, to hold their hands while they say their shahada. But we're not there when her entire family is against her. We're not there when she's called names. We're not there when she cries herself to sleep. We're not there when the world that seemed certain to her, become one big pile of 'haram'. We're not there when her old life begs her to come back. We're not there when her mom or dad pulls of her hijab or spits in her face. We're not there when she loses everything that was familiar to her. And yet, we judge. Soubhana Allah. The real journey began when she said her shahada. And when you walk beside her, hearing the real story.. you look at her and say:"Soubhana Allah.. I don't know how you're still standing. How you held on to the deen". And her respond will be: "Alhamdoellilaah, all praise to Allah".
Cause she endured all that, waiting for that day that she will be accepte.. Waiting for the day that she can live the life she dreams of. Having a family where she can fast with during ramadhaan. Having a husband who wakes up with her to pray salaat-ul fajr. Having her own house, with a fridge filled with halal products. Hearig the call to prayer in her own home. All those things that, our sisters who where born in muslim families often take for granted. Soubhana Allah.
Look, I wouldn't wanna be anybody else. I have this amazing family. And it doesn't matter that they are not muslims. They are mine <3 and they where a gift from Allah Azza wa Djall. And Allah Azza wa Djall brought them into my life to test me.. and after all that, all the fights and tears.. I can honestly say, alhamdoellilaah.. We found our way back to eachother. They accept me, like I accept them. And I love them, even more than I did before. Cause even after everything, my mom is still my hero. And paradise still lies underneath her feet. Alhamdoellilaah<3
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